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The story of when I made out with Lauren Conrad

DJ EJ — 2009-11-09T02:53:00Z

I was lucky enough to make out with the beautiful former star of MTV's The Hills, Lauren Conrad.

Or was I?

Enjoy!

Related: http://www.laurenconrad.com/

A story from an elevator

DJ EJ — 2009-11-01T20:45:00Z

Here's a story that happened to me a while ago on a recent vacation.

I was out at the bar, and met me a cutie brunette who loved the fact that I was from California.

After a few hours of hilarious convo & the consumption of stiff libations, I tricked-er, convinced, her to 'walk me back to my hotel.'The bar is conveniently two blocks away from my hotel. Naturally,stoplights provide a great venue for me to sneak a kiss.

She agreed.

Two blocks later, the passion in our kisses is growing almost as fast as certain parts of my anatomy. We arrive at the hotel and head toward the elevator.

My room is on the 3rd floor. The hotel has 19 floors. The back of the elevator is clear glass & overlooks the entire interior of the hotel.

We step into the elevator, & I press '3'. She leans back against the wall, still in a slight daze from my kisses she received earlier.

No joke, she really had 'that' look in her eye. Frankly, she reminded me of me in the sense that she was a great kisser. Just sayin'.

As the doors close, I walk over to her, reach my hand around the back of her neck, grab a handful of hair & pull her to me. She wilts.

We begin an awesome kiss that tops all those previous. She wraps her arms around me and we fall back against the glass wall of the elevator. Just as the heat of the moment reaches boiling status, the bell rings. We're at the 3rd floor. Already.I reach over & press the '19' button.

We get back to our kiss, & I'm sure the glass was fogging over from how hot it's getting in this elevator.

We'relost in the moment. Losing ourselves in this passionate makeoutsession. Hands wandering, moans loudening, inhibitions gone. It's hot.

In the midst of all this, we've obviously lost track of time and space.

Here's proof: The elevator has ascended up to floor 19, and all the way back down to the lobby level. We're both oblivious.

Just as she wraps a leg around me and begins kissing my neck, I lean my head back and half-open my eyes. I turn my head to the right.

Looking out of the glass wall behind us, a security guard is standing outside,arms crossed, toe tapping, a stern look on his face. Three other people are behind him. They're gawking like slack-jawed yokels.

I snap back to reality & bust out laughing. She belts out a 'huh?' looks outside the elevator, sees why I'm laughing, & starts laughing too.

The gawkers,all mid-20s partiers, all start cracking up. The security guard is not amused.

Brunette and I straighten our clothes and hair, in true awkward 'getting caught in a voyeuristic moment' fashion. I press '3' again, and the elevator takes off. We are still both laughing our asses off.

Naturally,this moment only increased our desire for each other and led to a spectacular finish to the night. This funny part was an instant classic.

I'll conclude the story there. The focus of this story is to be a 'laughrodisiac', not a smut novel. Just know that it was a great evening. With a very funny moment that became a great story.

A cool encounter with the late MLB Hall of Hame broadcaster Harry Kalas.

DJ EJ — 2009-10-27T18:00:00Z

The Philadelphia Phillies are gearing up for their second consecutive trip to the 2009 World Series against the New York Yankees this week. Following all the crazy celebrity & iconic deaths this year, many people have celebrated the lives of those passed by sharing memories, pieces of their memorabilia, or mementos of a time they had met.

In 2009, I’ve heard countless memories about meeting (or even seeing) Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and DJ AM, et al.

Each time, I could feel the passion and the emotion of the person telling the story. Celebrities do fascinate us. Anytime we meet one or have a chance personal moment with one, us ‘normal’ folk remember and cherish these moments for our entire lives.

I have one of my own that I'm happy to share with you here. Earlier this year, shortly after the start of the Major League Baseball season, the sports world lost an icon of its own. Harry Kalas.

If you know who he is, you know of his Hall-of-Fame career as announcer for the Philadelphia Phillies and one-time voices of NFL Films and Campbell’s Chunky Soup.

If you don’t know who he is, take this test. If you’ve ever hung out with the guys watching sports, odds are that you recognize his truly unique, one-of-a-kind voice. (Listen to a famous Harry Kalas sports call here)

He is truly an icon in the sports world, and his awesome talents will be missed.

I was lucky enough to meet him, and from that experience I was fortunate enough to garner a very unique memento that I consider one of the many highlights of my life.

The date was August 8, 2004. I remember it well. I was working that day – I was doing the music for the Los Angeles Dodgers as they hosted the Phillies. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon day game. The final game of a six-game homestand.

During Sunday day games, the food service in the Press Box offers a variety of delicious breakfast and lunch entrees. I had a tremendous hankering for scrambled eggs with a pile of bacon this morning. Yumm, bacon.

And a Dodger Dog or two. Yes, they’re that good. I digress.

What I heard next was the start of something that I would end up cherishing as a truly memorable moment in my life.

I got in line and I was reaching for a tray when I stopped short. I heard a voice that I’d heard on TV easily hundreds of times, but NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think I’d ever hear in real-life.

The four magic words? “I’ll have the stroganoff.”

I’ll.

Have.

The.

Stroganoff.

On paper, they hold as little significance to me as they are most likely doing for you right now. But once you’ve heard that LIVE in a voice that you immediately recognize, you stop short. Imagine people like Michael Jackson, Rush Limbaugh, or in the crudest of analogies, Gilbert Godfried, saying that. You’d know exactly who they are the minute they said it.

I’ll have the stroganoff.

Taken aback, I staggered for a second in awe of the greatness in my vicinity, regained my composure, and eased back to reality as Harry took his tray and sat with the 'cool kids' in the Dodger Stadium Vin Scully Press Box.

I grabbed my tray, chock full of scrambled eggs, a monster pile of bacon, and a couple Dodger Dogs, sat down amongst the minions, and began devising my plan to obtain the coolest piece of memorabilia ever.

Fast forward through the game. Brad Penny strains his bicep in the first inning. A lengthy delay ensued as he left the game escorted by a couple trainers, and new pitcher Giovanni Carrara had all the time he needed to warm up.

After mentally joking with myself about playing U2’s Sunday Bloody Sunday, I pod up Dave Brubeck’s Take Five to create a calming the moment for the crowd of more than 53,000.

I remember Dodger Public Address Announcer Eric Smith leaning over and saying to me “Nice – some Sunday afternoon jazz” with an accompanying thumbs up. Truly a compliment.

While that was a great moment, I still had my eyes on the prize.

Around the 8^th inning, I had my plan set. I would only have one chance to pull this off and I had to execute the plan to perfection in order to achieve my goal.

I wrote out a quick note which would end up being the key to my plan’s flawless execution.

I’ll have the stroganoff.

The game ends and the crowd of 53,000+ slowly filters out. Although as we both know, they’re Dodger fans, so most were gone before the 8^th inning. The final song ends. I fade the audio for the final time that homestand.

I grab my note and my cell phone in my hands, nearly trembling with anticipation. I speed off to look for Mr. Kalas. Make a beeline for the Visitors Radio Booth. I see a few people standing near the door of the booth. After a few seconds of eavesdropping, I learn his son Todd was one of the people.

This is my moment. Harry’s outside the booth door, signing a hat for a little girl. I approach Todd, shake his hand and ask him a quick question. He gives me an affirmative, and I turn toward Harry and ask,

“Mr. Kalas, would you do me a huge favor and record my cell phone's voicemail?”

In his legendary and comforting voice he replies without hesitation “Sure thing! That would be great.”

Cool.

Way cool.

I have the cell phone in my hand, already set to record a new voicemail at the push of a button. Prep work: it took me literally 4 minutes & pressing “1” about a dozen times to get to this point. No easy feat.

I hand him my note, in which I’d already written out his script. I ask him when he’s ready, and on his confirmation I press record.

“Hi, you’ve reached Erik’s cell phone. Please leave your name & number after the tone. Thank you and have a nice day.”

Like a true professional, he nailed it on the first try. I stopped recording, looked up from the phone, and thanked him with a huge smile. I told him I was a big fan, shook his hand, and we went our separate ways.

At that moment, I felt as giddy as when my mom bought me that bike when I was 7. On the drive back home, I listened to the voicemail no less than 38 times. Give or take.

I’ve since changed phones and phone numbers. But I’ve kept that number intact, mostly because of the voicemail message contained within. Yes, it’s still intact. I would be happy to share it with you if you ask nicely. Rather than give my number out for the world to see, click here to visit my Contact page and I'll send you the 411 to hear his voice on my voicemail.

Mr. Kalas, I know you'll be rooting for the Phillies in the World Series this week. I should thank you for requesting the stroganoff that day. Mostly, I thank you for taking a couple seconds to create a cool, lifelong moment for me that I feel fortunate to be able to share with others.

~EJ

DJ EJ - The life and times

DJ EJ — 2009-09-19T15:00:00Z

Greetings,

I started my website, (http://www.djej.org) a while ago to keep in touch with friends and family while I went to play baseball in the Arizona Winter League. Well, that was an amazing six weeks, but the website was popular enough to somehow not get blacklisted from cyberspace, so here we are.

I'm just an average guy who loves everything that life has to offer us. I see the benefit in maximizing life by forcing myself to live outside of my comfort zone. I've done my fair share of working, traveling, partying, dating, playing baseball, being a dog owner, and adventuresome things in my time on this planet.

I like to share my humoriffic point of view from the stories in which I find myself the main character. DJEJ.org is the forum for these stories.

I've formulated a philosophy that life is really about the stories we share. Friends, family, love, adventure, travel, etc...what is it you really take from that? Stories. Pictures and videos help compliment the story. But it's all in our perspective of the story. Two people who have the same experience can have widely varying stories about it. Another reason for my desire to encapsulate these stories is to remember them myself!

Why stories? Because I'm set to embark on something that's going to give me dozens, if not hundreds, of great lifelong stories and memories. I will take them to my grave knowing that I lived life to its fullest. I'm excited. Are you?

If you have questions, by all means ask. I'm sure there will be a fair share of haters that join us, so I would like to issue some guidelines to the haters: Keep it clean. Direct any and all objections to me, not to others. I'm a man. I can take criticism. I don't understand unprovoked attacks but they do happen. If you have an issue with anything I say, speak up.

But again, keep it clean as this is a family-friendly environment.

Granted, I may share some stories that are more adult than others, but I promise to include multiple and obvious warnings and disclaimers when I do.

Thanks for bearing with me, and thanks for joining me.

Enjoy,
Erik